I guess I should start this with welcome to motherhood.. isn’t it a whirlwind. To the mums reading this while their baby finally naps or the expectant mothers who are trying their damn hardest to be prepared; well done! However you’re managing this motherhood thing blooming well done, you’re doing great!
Now we’ve got that out the way let’s have a little giggle at some of the things they don’t tell you about motherhood…
- Everyone is an expert; just like when you were pregnant everyone suddenly has achieved a degree overnight & have all the answers. Just resist the urge to slap them all & keep doing you!
- Sleep is a tricky thing to get right. Just when you think you’ve got a sleep cycle going your bubba changes their mind & you’re back to sleepless nights & crying into your coffee.
- There’s never enough coffee & it’s never strong enough. Motherhood throws your caffeine tolerance into overdrive.
- Breastfeeding is relentless. If you choose to breastfeed that is & if you choose not to then don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. Being a food source is tiring & difficult.
- It’s okay to do absolutely nothing. Motherhood is tiring & a challenge so those days spent on the sofa binge watching Netflix are totally okay. Remember you’ve grown a human & now you’re keeping that human alive. You’re already doing enough.
- People are nosy when it comes to babies. They will want to know every detail of your birth & about your baby. Just remember it’s up to you to share how much you want & with who you want.
- Strangers will just stick their head into your pram. No questions asked. They don’t care they could make your baby sick they just want a peak. Try to resist slapping them too…
- Family members/friends will also want to snuggle your ridiculously cute baby all the time. That’s lovely & all but then you end up with an overstimulated overtired baby who cries all night. It’s okay to say no to passing the baby around.
- Bathing a baby is both cute & disgusting. There’s nothing quite like seeing your baby floating blissfully but there’s also nothing quite like being both pooped & peed on.
- Poop becomes normal as does sick. No matter how grossed out you were prior to having a baby it just becomes normal. Still gross but normal.
- Babies are scary. Yes sometimes your child will freak the hell out of you. Throwing their head around like a crazy fool ✔️. Holding their breath ✔️. There’s a bunch of things your child will do just to show who’s got the power in this dynamic.
- It’s lonely & boring. Motherhood isn’t always fun. Maternity leave sounds inviting but in reality it can get lonely looking after a baby all day & it can get boring. Sometimes you just need anything to stimulate your brain other than keeping a baby alive.
- Your brain is all baby & motherhood. Baby brain is definitely real but even when you get your marbles back its just a big whirl of motherhood. Trying to squeeze anything else in is near impossible.
- Your camera roll becomes 99% baby related & you’ll want to share every snap even though you’re aware no ones is as interested in your baby as you are.
- Yes muslins are magical. Baby been milk sick? Muslin. Boob leaking milk? Muslin. Medication being spat right back at ya? Guess what grab a muslin.
- Wanting to harm baby free people who decide to tell you how “tired” they are… honestly sleep deprivation can make you a very intolerant person.
- You’ve bought a gazillion places for your baby to sleep in but guess where they sleep the most… on YOU. Yep as much as you know the rules sometimes you’ve just gotta let them sleep where they want.
- Never being able to eat with two hands again. Honestly its as if babies have some sixth sense & just know when your food has arrived. It may end up with them covered in crumbs but they’ll do anything for a snuggle.
- Never being able to wee until the very last minute because you refused to move the sleeping child off your chest until you’re absolutely busting.
- Lastly its okay not to be okay. Not every day will be easy & sometimes you have to just admit defeat. Let people help look after your child & go for that nap. Mothers are still human so we aren’t always okay & that’s perfectly fine!
Honestly I’m amazed I was able to squeeze writing a blog post into my day so I’m going to leave it here. Please let me know what you’d add to this list in the comments below.
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