I wasn’t planning to make a second post this week because I wanted to re-shoot a few images & make everything perfect. Saying that I’m sat at home with a sickness bug, feeling rather sorry for myself & feel inspired to write. I haven’t been feeling myself for weeks, not necessarily ill but not at my prime health. I’m constantly dehydrated, drained & pretty much exhausted. I’ve done all the tests the doctors have requested & luckily there’s no underlying cause, well I say luckily but I’d rather take a miracle drug & shoo it away.
I’ve just got to a stage where I’ve run myself down to empty & in turn I’m catching every common cold & bug going around. It’s my own fault for not giving myself breathing space, I know my limits but we all push ourselves from time to time. I guess my work schedule is part of the reason but that’s not something that can always be changed. I’m not necessarily worried about working too much; I’m more focused on how I’m dealing with the changes in my life. I get stressed; we all do but in my case I have to be careful because it can cause a domino effect in my life. A little bit too much stress or not dealing with the current stresses can burn me out & bring my anxiety to the surface.
Between changing careers, organising my operation & moving Jacob in my head is pretty crowded. Being ill regularly on top of all that isn’t very helpful but I’m determined to address these issues & keep my head screwed on. I’ve taken every step with caution to ensure I don’t leave myself in difficult position. I’ve organised my work trial & been enrolled on the systems which means my new job is completely secure. I’m very excited to join my new team but obviously anxious to be experiencing such a change in my schedule (I don’t do well with change!!). My confirmation letter for my operation arrived & I’ve organised my payment schedule. I still have to pinch myself when I think about it being a reality!! I’m very proud of myself for reaching this goal but I’m also pretty scared now It’s all booked. Plus Jacob is being really helpful organising his move, all we really need to do is another sort through of my stuff. Once I’ve got rid of the junk & sold what I no longer need It’ll be all sorted my end.
I guess I just need to take time out to realise that I don’t need to panic myself about the up & coming changes. That I’ve done all I can to make it as smooth as possible & you know what I’m doing okay. My anxiety may have bubbled to the surface & I may not be recharging as well as I used to but It’s not the end of the world. I’m taking days to myself, I’m going to bed as early as my body will warrant & I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible. All I can do is push through this dark period & know It’ll settle very soon. I’ve got exciting plans ahead & a weekend away after all these “stresses” so It’s time to power through!!