It’s funny isn’t it; how us millennials seem to always been complaining about something. That we’re exhausted, we want to travel but can’t afford it & that buying a house is only something we can dream of. But in reality things are different & we have every right to complain about certain things. I’m just as bad when it comes to complaining. I’m exhausted & I’m not afraid to tell the world (& annoy everyone in the process)
I moan all the time that I’m tired & y’no what I’m not lying. It’s not a shallow comment because I didn’t go to bed at a decent time the night before. Heck I could go to bed at 8pm, sleep through till 8am & still be utterly shattered. There’s not enough sleep to suffice the never ending emotional cycle I’m on. My body is exhausted & that’s my reality.
I wanted to make 2018 the year I stopped whinging about being tired & for a minute there I thought I’d cracked it. My lovely moment of illness over the Christmas holidays did leave me feeling refreshed. A little overslept maybe but I’d finally caught up on all that missed sleep. Turns out I just didn’t have the energy to think or do pretty much anything to actually exhaust myself.
Flash forward to the second week of January; I’m back to full health (kinda) & I’m back to the daily grind of life. Well that also means all my disorder has free rein to do it’s thing & drain every ounce of energy I had regained.
Time to skip to mid February & that illness is still lingering (loving the migraines.. not), I’m back into my work routine & I’m blogging my socks off to get ahead. That moment of bliss that catching up on sleep gave me has long gone & I’m back to the usual moaning & groaning.
I’m tired; I can’t deny that. The emotional rollercoaster my mind feels the need to buy a ticket for on a daily basis is dragging me down & no amount of sleep is refreshing me. Let’s add the new anxieties that have reared their ugly head to the mix & well my brains having a party over here.
I spent a long time getting to know myself & learning how to cope with my disorder. I had it all mapped out. I knew what made me tick & how to destress in moments of panic. Not gonna lie I knew how to enjoy the ride & let it play itself out. But now I have this weird little thing about crowds & well I don’t know what to do about that.
Here’s sits a girl who never really understood the whole social anxiety thing. I was lucky to never have to worry about that. However now it’s something that is affecting me too & I really don’t know what to do about it. Anxiety isn’t something I know about or something I have learned to cope with.
All I know is it’s making me even more tired & I’ve had enough. Time to check myself into the doctors & ask for help. I’m not taking this lying down & my brain is not going to lead me down another crappy path. Not today Satan.