Deciding How Much Of My Son To Share Online

How Much Of My Son To Share Online - jasper & I at the beach in the sunsetI posted on Instagram recently about the two questions I get asked the most. One I’ve answered already; what is it like to be a mother with BPD? The second I’m answering right now; why don’t I post photos of my son? Well like I said then I do but I guess I share less than what people expected me too.

I’m a very out there person & I probably overshare quite a bit so I can total understand that people expected me to be waaayy more open with my journey into motherhood. I think I’m still pretty open about motherhood. I’m here for #honestmotherhood cause I truly believe the more we share the true realities of parenting the more we break the stereotype of what perfect parenting is.

I love seeing the moments that aren’t always picture perfect & I’m here for the parents who love a rant about their baby being a bit of a jerk that day. I champion the no judgement club when it comes to parenting cause damn we are all just trying to muster our way through it.

So yes before we start let’s just put it out there… how I choose to share my son online is my personal choice & not a judgement on your choice!

Let’s just get on with it shall we?

When we found out Jasper was stowed away in my womb we had to have a chat about how much we wanted to share online. I’m a chronic oversharer who lives online but Jacob is very private. He has all the settings sorted so you can’t find him unless he wants you to & I respect that.

This isn’t me saying Jacob said no & I agreed. It’s just we’re different social media kinda people & these are the decisions you make together.

We kept our pregnancy pretty quiet for a while even from family & friends. We wanted to have that scan picture in our hand & be completely sure everything was okay before saying a word. It was lush being in our own bubble without anyone knowing & well it was new for me. It was really refreshing so we held off saying anything on social media for quite a while.

I think I was around 4 months pregnant when we made the whole social media announcement & that suited us fine. The response was lush & everyone was so lovely (bar a few nobodies who have to be rude about everything).

Once we announced the pregnancy, I did then share a little more as we went along. I chatted about my pregnancy & did trimester updates on the blog. I spoke about my BPD & was just being my usual self.

Being in that initial bubble we knew that we didn’t want to share too much of our son online. It just that simple. We were happy just leaving that part of our lives private.

At first we decided no photos for his privacy but then of course he was born & I took like a thousand in the first week. Damn he was too cute for the world not to see right?

Then it got a little tricky…

It all started to change when it came to announcing him online. Since he came so early & unexpectedly in my drugged blur I uploaded a cute picture of Jacob & the bump to say he had arrived. It was kinda perfect but we still wanted to announce Jasper to the world.

We hadn’t used his name for the whole pregnancy & then after he was born we still didn’t. Most people were a bit intrigued, I had a lot of fab messages from people respecting my decision & then I had a lot of people a bit miffed they didn’t know his name. So weird right?

We decided to announce his name & upload a picture or two or three for his due date so seven weeks after his birth we made an Instagram post. Lord almighty people love a baby on the internet & everyone was so fab. It was really nice to say his name & not have to consciously think not to use it on the gram.

Of course we had the odd idiot from our pasts make a sarky comment but that’s life.

Since then there’s been an odd photo of him here & there but my account isn’t all about Jasper. I am open about my motherhood journey & I do talk about him a fair bit but he’s not the focus.

I didn’t ever plan to be a mummy blogger & even though I am a mother there’s still more to my life than parenting. I find I have quite an even balance of parenting content & all the other stuff in my life or that interest me.

See that’s the thing I love to share stuff about my son online in a way that’s pretty light hearted & honest. I don’t share anything I wouldn’t want my mum saying about me either.  I just don’t want to flood the feed with Jasper Jasper Jasper.

Let’s discuss his privacy…

A big part of our decision to only share so much of Jasper online was his privacy. I didn’t want to create a digital footprint for him before he could even use the internet himself. I have a huge footprint most likely & I’m okay with that but I don’t want to put Jasper out there before he gets the chance to make that choice.

Even though we’ve posted a couple of photos of him online I’ve decided to stop including his face. He’s bloody beautiful & I take way too many photos of him (I lie there’s never too many) but I just don’t feel comfortable putting him out there like that.

I don’t want to subject him to judgement from strangers on the internet. We’ve always had really nice responses to his other photos but the internet is still a cruel place. I’d just hate for him to be judged for his appearance even though the fact people judge babies is blooming appalling. I’ve been subjected to some of the worst hate of my life over the years all from trolls on the internet or bitter people from my past. There’s always an ex that hates you or someone you fell out with stalking your profiles & I just don’t want Jasper to be part of that. Even just reading one bad comment about him would break my heart.

So that’s how we decided how much to share of our son online.

I’m comfortable with the amount we share online right now. I share tales of motherhood & I share pictures of Jasper that just don’t include his face. I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’ve got my close friends lists on Instagram & I’ve got photo albums full of memories.

I find it just as easy to take pictures without his face as I do with. Maybe some people think we’re being a bit silly or over the top but I have no qualms about people sharing their child on their feed. I love seeing all the cute babies doing their thing. It’s just not for us.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I kinda realised that I can share motherhood without sharing all of my son & that’s what’s I’m comfortable with.

Shelley xx

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  • It sounds to me like you’re getting the balance just right. Jasper will be able to make his own mind up about social media when he’s older! Your Instagram feed is GORGEOUS btw!

  • I completely relate to this in a different way. My husband is a professional wrestler but works in a mask so his “real” face is a bit of a secret, yet my niche is all about the wifestyle lifestyle so he is still discussed a lot without showing his face. This was such an interesting read!

  • I love how open you are about your decisions, and as an expectant mumma it’s nice to see people respect that you’re doing you! At the end of the day, it’s nobody else’s business!

    • ah thank you so much. honestly everyone’s been pretty good about the whole thing! very refreshing