Oh, how life has changed… newborn life has truly taken over & I honestly can’t believe I now have a 11 week old baby!
Life has been such a whirlwind. I haven’t even written my birth story because life seems to always get in the way & well I just don’t have enough time to write a lengthy post. Plus I’m still not sure I’m ready to delve into that yet.
Having a newborn is scary mind. Partly because it’s a whole new human for you to look after & partly because people try to tell you all the horrible things that can happen. Honestly people are the worst. Remember how I said people always tell you their pregnancy horror stories? Well its just as bad when it comes to motherhood.
Yes I’m tired & yes motherhood is difficult but no I’m not a clueless sleep deprived human. I am still a functioning human even if I do drink a lot more coffee than ever before. I am not wandering around wondering what the hell to do with my tiny human. I kinda got this!
I’m still the same person I was before. That bit surprised me because everyone said your life will change once you have children. They made it seem like my life would be turned upside down & I’d suddenly become a walking talking baby lady.
Well let me tell ya… I love my baby but I am not just a mother.
I’m still me. I still get my nails done every month & I’m still out there taking outfit snaps for the gram. Maybe I don’t do all the things I used to but hey the things I enjoyed doing before I still want to do now. Having a baby has meant I need to be a lot more organised but we can still leave the house & have days out.
I still feel like me but a slightly different me. My priorities have changed & I’m less selfish than before but I haven’t become someone else.
Anyhow less about me & more about the little man himself.
The early days were pretty tough because he didn’t come home for 3 weeks. It meant that we were back & forth to the neonatal unit constantly. I guess most parents have that whirlwind first month to navigate newborn life but we experienced it a little different. We had a lot of support because he was in the NICU & he had nurses who took care of him. They taught us a lot during those first few weeks & we learnt a lot of things about babies we probably wouldn’t have if we got to take him straight home.
Having a premature baby is odd because I don’t know any different but I do know its different. I see our experience as normal because it’s our normal but I can definitely see the differences between us & other new families. Either way we were pretty lucky as Jasper wasn’t unwell he was just early. It could have been a lot worse but because we knew he was going to come early he was able to have the steroids & medication to help him along.
He was a happy little chap. No need for oxygen & he came off his caffeine after a few days. He came out of the incubator pretty quick & soon enough he was off the monitors. The only real worries we had were his jaundice & he’s temperature. He’s perfectly fine now but they were concerning at the time.
He took to the breast like a pro & he put on weight quickly. He was amazing at every step & made us very proud. He came home pretty quick for a premature baby. A whole month before his due date (which is when they estimate they’ll go home) so he clearly is a little warrior.
That’s when newborn life actually got scary. I thought having a baby in hospital was scary but having a tiny baby all to yourself is terrifying. No more nurses to help me if I was having a moment. Blooming terrifying I tell you!
Turns out it wasn’t as hard as I thought. We had the basic skills we needed & you learn the rest as you go. Yes the sleepless nights were tough but after a while you realise you can survive anything. I slowly stopped worrying I was going to kill my baby at any moment & motherhood seemed a little easier.
I can’t lie & say its all smooth sailing because it’s not. Getting a newborn to sleep is hard especially one who is used to a NICU environment. Plus he wanted to sleep in the bed with us which is a huge no no for premature babies but we all needed sleep. That turned into the nights when I was always pretty much awake to ensure he didn’t get squished while both Jacob & Jasper enjoyed blissful sleeps.
Soon enough we learnt he wanted a night light & a smaller cot. Out went the bedside cot (loved spending money on that) & in came the Moses bases instead. We learnt a lot of things over time & with the help of family. We formed routines & became a functioning family unit.
Life has definitely changed & no one day is the same. Some days are still pretty tough but other days are blissfully. Newborn life is very much a learning curve for both you & your baby. It’s hard not to look back at how you life was before & compare it but then again life is pretty amazing right now too.
Most people say the early days fly by & maybe that’s how I’ll feel in a few months time but right now I still feel in that bubble. I’m enjoying the time I have to watch my tiny human become a person. Maybe things seem a little slower because he came so early but either way I’m trying to embrace the newborn days as much as I can.
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