Saying See You Later To The Fourth Trimester

fourth trimester - three polaroidsI can officially say I made it through the fourth trimester.

I think I can safely say the newborn days are behind me since I now have a bouncy 4 month old little man on my hands.

What a wild ride that was….

Okay before I dive in to the whirlwind let’s define the 4th trimester for those who have not been through it (lucky buggers!!). So apparently the fourth trimester is that period from the moment your baby is born up till they turn three months old. Basically its that period of time when you are thrown in the deep end with a tiny human who needs you to keep it alive while you survive on 99% caffeine & 1% sleep.

It’s also the time when your poor child has been ripped out of his cosy home & thrust into a very real & strange world. The thought of that even scares me.

As you probably know we spent a month of our fourth trimester in the NICU so we had lots of highly qualified nurses & doctors around us to keep us sane & Jasper safe.

That probably makes it sound easier but trust me it didn’t mean we had a month of extra sleep & baby free time. It just meant we were back & forth to a hospital ward at all hours & I was pumping like a cow to try & provide for my child. It was stressful as hell!

It was even scarier to take him home & finally be alone with our tiny tot. He wasn’t meant to be born for another month so he was so delicate & tiny.  He was still curled up & wanting that safe womb environment & who could blame him!

Gone were the days where he slept all wrapped up hooked up to monitors in whatever position he wanted. Now we had to somehow get him to sleep in a cot on his own in a particular position. Spoiler….. it didn’t work out well!

We suddenly had visitors galore, people who I never speak to wanted to ask a million question & family members started reappearing all over the shop. Nothing like a cute baby to draw people’s attention.

But hey those were the newborn days & well we aren’t here to talk about those!

It’s absolutely crazy how much Jasper has changed in those three months. I no longer have a sleepy baby I now have a little man who knows what he wants & isn’t afraid to tell you.

I’m currently writing this while bouncing his chair & taking boogie breaks because my son loves nothing more than watching his mumma shake her booty & dance like a fool. I promise that’s true!

He’s got his favourite toys & he will play independently (how wonderful that is for me!). He wants to be sat up 99% of the time & he adores flying (my arms are tired guys).

He’s got multiple teeth coming through but has also learnt how to push pretty much all the calpol out of his gob. Who doesn’t lie calpol???

He now weighs quite a lot & has enough trust in his parents to dead weight us when we are out. Honestly we were blessed to have such a lightweight boy at the beginning.

He’s learnt what his hands & feet are so he doesn’t stop moving or grabbing my hair. He’s now able to hold his head up & is desperately to start crawling (crazy I know).

There’s just so much to tell. He’s got the cutest personality & I adore when he smiles or giggles. I love nothing more than him having a chat with me & watching him enjoy the littlest things.

That’s the thing about the fourth trimester; so much is happening & you don’t even realise. It’s such a crazy ride of emotions & most of it becomes a blur because you are just trying to make it through each day.

Well now I’m waving goodbye to it all I’m not sure if I’m totally ready. This is meant to be the stage where you’ve got hold of the situation but I don’t quite think I’m there yet.

People suddenly stop visiting or bombarding you with questions & you know what it does feel a little lonely. Either they don’t find your baby who’s found their voice cute anymore or they assume you’ve totally got this. Either way it kinda sucks a little.

I still have bad days where I just want to scream “WHAT DO YOU WANT” & he’ll answer back (as if that wouldn’t give me a heart attack). We still haven’t really worked out a set routine & he still doesn’t have a regular bed time.

There are definitely days where I question if I can do this & I feel like I’m failing at everything but then there are days that seem to be a breeze.

Things are starting to feel a tad easier as we go on & I truly don’t think I will accidental kill my child anymore.

We learnt so much in those three months that I can only imagine how much more we’ve got to learn.

I just keep thinking of how exciting Jasper learning new things will be & how much he loves me already.

Sometimes the screams do drown that out but then he smiles at me & my brain is convinced by that toothy grin that he is the cutest boy in all the land.

Just to let any other parents out there who are finding those newborn days tough I promise it does get easier & to those worried they aren’t ready for the fourth trimester to be over don’t worry none of us are!

Our babies might get developmental leaps but hey we are adapting to parenthood just as much as our children are to childhood.

You got this! We’ve got this!

Shelley xx

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