As of recent I’ve been pushing myself more than ever; I’m so ready to step out of my comfort zone & embrace new opportunities. I want to feel more like me & stop worrying what people think. I want to do things that I’ve been scared of & I want to say yes without any fear. I’m still up for saying no when things I’m not sure about come around but I want to be able to say yes when it feels right. I’m 25 this year & it’s time to start living for me, myself & I.
I guess I’m worried about people judging me because I’ve had people judge me so harshly that it broke me from time to time. Remember the good old Tumblr days when it was easy to gain followers & people abused that anon button like no tomorrow? Well I was hugely involved with Tumblr & I got my fair share of abuse which when you’re going through puberty & trying to find who you are, isn’t that great. I’ve had people in my life turn on me & make my life a living hell & I’ve had idiots online make me feel like shit.
I went through a stage of being in constant fear of being judged for the smallest things? But now I’m saying fuck it, judge me all you like! I will wear a mesh top in the middle of London & I will look fabulous doing it. Yes I have to admit I wouldn’t have worn this outfit out before even though I love it. It’s very me but it’s also quite daring too so it did take a little bit of bigging myself up & a tonne of “you look great” from Jacob.
Not only did I wear this outfit in the middle of London; I wore it to a photoshoot! My first blogger photoshoot in public & well that was a big step on its own. I decided that if I was going to push myself I may as well jump all the way out of my comfort zone. I got changed in cafe toilets without worrying what the host would say, I shot in Carnaby street which was very busy & I stood in the middle of a road & let Kaye do her thing!
Yes it was nerve wracking & there was a moment when I locked eyes with a bus driver who proceeded to tell me “to work it gurl” but I blooming did it. Maybe having a street style photoshoot isn’t very daring for some but for me it was definitely out of my comfort zone.
I can quite happily say it was the best thing I did. I took my anxiety tablets & I just embraced the experience. I’m not going to lie & say I wasn’t nervous because I was hella nervous but I still did it! I travelled into London on my own & I stood in the middle of the street & let my fabulous inner blogger loose.
Strolling around in an outfit that to me is a little daring & usually reserved for nights out was great for breaking my boundaries. Plus Kaye made me look like a bloody rockstar so it was definitely worth it! I feel ten times better just from this one experience that I can’t wait to embrace more. I am hoping to join an exercise class as soon as I move without worrying that I won’t be good enough. I want to put myself out there more; take the classes I want & squish the anxiety that has been bringing me down!
I can’t thank Kaye enough for helping me through this process & making me feel comfortable throughout. Ohh also for taking me to lunch & making me socialise for the first time in forever. I think this is the start of breaking out of my shell & jumping out of my comfort zone. I can’t wait to book another session with Kaye & loosen up even more.
Maybe this was just a small step but it’s the first step of many I wish to take. I would love to know what things you’ve been up to that are out of your comfort zone & the things you want to do that you are a little scared about.
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