Why Am I Putting Myself Under So Much Pressure?

Why Am I Putting Myself Under So Much Stress? - closeup from behind of bodysuit

It’s time to get real for a second. We need to have a chat about my mental health & how the pressure of blogging is affecting it. If you actually visit my blog regularly to read my posts you probably noticed that I took some time off last month & well it gave me time to reflect on how I’m feeling. It turns out I really needed a week off the Internet just to clear my head & perk myself up.

I been in a right state during October & my mental health was horrific. I’m not one to get stupidly low but for some reason I couldn’t drag myself out of it & well it sent me spiralling. Now we don’t need to get into the nitty gritty of my life but hey I had to give myself a break.

What I realised along the way is I have to ask myself;  why am I putting myself under so much pressure? 

Why Am I Putting Myself Under So Much Stress? - front close up

I love blogging, I really do! I enjoy using my space on the internet to talk about my views on hot topics & share my outfits but its not my job. I actually have a full time job that exhausts me & well forcing myself to blog at the weekends really doesn’t help me unwind.

I need time off & well if its a choice between what I earn a living from & what I do as a hobby, I have to choose my job. I can’t keep putting myself under so much pressure when this is something that I chose to do for fun.

Let’s face it; yes one day I would love to say blogging is my full time job & I need to work hard to get there but I also need to cut myself some slack. Good content doesn’t come from pressure anyhow. I can keep churning out posts but are they the posts I’ll be proud of in a years time?

Maybe? Maybe not!

Why Am I Putting Myself Under So Much Stress? - front close up

Life hasn’t been easy right now; I’m struggling to sleep, working my arse off & well I didn’t get a job I really wanted. I’ve been feeling crap & thinking I have to spend my weekends shooting & writing isn’t working for me.

I have a week off work for my birthday so I’m going to continue my internet break & just write when I feel inspired & enjoy myself. I’m back on Insta which is always lovely but hey I’m not putting any pressure to stick to a schedule. I am going to do me & the content will come when its ready!

Why Am I Putting Myself Under So Much Stress? - jacket close up

I’ve also decided that not getting the job I interviewed for is a good thing because I’m finally taking the plunge to study counselling. I’ve got a short course lined up just to test if it’s still for me then if that goes well I may do a uni course. It’s all very exciting!

I’ve realised if I’m going to get my mental health back to a healthy place then I need to stop worrying about what I’m not doing or what I could be doing & focus on the stuff happening right then. The pressure to keep on top of everything is causing my stress levels to sky rocket so I’m going to work slow towards things that make me happy.

Why Am I Putting Myself Under So Much Stress? - close up of outfit; bodysuit, jacket, yellow trousers & statement boots

Jacket: Zara | Top: Boohoo | Trousers: Missy Empire | Boots: Nasty Gal

I haven’t blogged probably in weeks but even though I no longer have that pressure I still am struggling. I still feel lost & sad a lot of the time so hopefully I can continue to work on that. I may be feeling more myself but I’m not quite ready to throw myself back into a full on routine. Clearly I’ve been blogging from time to time & I think I’m going to stick to that instead of blogging every weekend.

Shelley xx

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2 Comments

  1. December 2, 2018 / 2:18 pm

    Time off to reflect and think about things like this is so important x

    • shelley
      Author
      December 2, 2018 / 2:49 pm

      isn’t it just x

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