I recently found out that May is BPD awareness month which was news to me & probably news to a lot of people. It kinda goes to show that BPD needs more awareness that even I didn’t know we had a month. I’ve spoken about BPD quite a bit of this blog & well I’m about to do it again so get your cup of teas at the ready.
For those that don’t know BPD stands for borderline personality disorder which is very much it’s own mental disorder. It not very well known like anxiety or depression but it’s very much real for those who suffer from it. The simplest way I can describe it is an emotional instability, so you are all over the place & have no control of your emotions. It warps how you see yourself & that can be traumatic. I personally have ups & downs constantly & it affects my mood intensely. It makes relationships harder because I can be pretty erratic & well my stress levels are always extremely high. I can function like everyone else but I function differently.
BPD is something that needs more recognition because without that, treatment is a lot harder to get. It needs to be recognised more by mental health professionals & by the public because this is a real condition that affects real people. Maybe having an BPD awareness month isn’t the biggest deal in the world but if it gives people the platform to express themselves & open up then it is important.
So how does BPD affect me? Well I’m unstable, my emotions are all over the place & my stress levels are uncontrollable. I feel every little thing, I can be happy one minute & sad the next. My anger can spiral & that can lead me to saying things I don’t mean but are pretty damn harsh. It makes being around me difficult because even though I have abandonment issues I push people away. I will test people’s limits because I don’t have faith that they want to stay. People who suffer are always told they are manipulative & well we can be but that’s not all we are. It’s not who we are or what defines us. Everyone can be manipulative but when someone knows you have this condition that’s their first thought. We don’t aim to manipulate people, we are just living in the moment which sometimes comes across as manipulative. I’m unstable in the sense I’m stupidly impulsive & well I’ve made bad decisions because of that but I’ve also done some pretty amazing things because of it to. I have a warped sense of self so I lose confidence & faith in myself pretty damn easily. I’m either really happy with who I am or feel completely lost.
BPD awareness month is important because it highlights misconceptions people have & I’m gonna lay down a few for you. As I just mentioned the manipulative assumption is one but people also jump to other conclusions. Firstly people think it mainly affects woman which isn’t true, men are just more likely to be diagnosed with antisocial behaviour disorder because the symptoms present themselves more through anger & aggression. People assume that BPD is a result of abuse or a bad childhood but trauma isn’t the only reason people develop this disorder. I personally didn’t have any traumatic events happen to me so I’m living proof of that. People assume that we are just looking for attention especially when it comes to suicidal thoughts, which is totally false. Yes our mood switches easily & maybe that can appear like it’s only for attention but all our emotions are very real & even if they are in the moment that doesn’t make them attention seeking. Lastly people assume we don’t response to treatment well which is very harmful because it stops people seeking help. BPD is so new & well treatment is also new so yes sometimes it doesn’t work out but that isn’t because our conditions stops us it’s because treatment is a process & well every condition takes time to treat.
I could probably talk about my condition for days because it’s so complex to explain but there’s people living with it who are still adjusting & need help. People adapt differently & just because I’m so open with my disorder doesn’t mean everyone is. I think people need BPD awareness month because people need to know more so they can understand & help those around them. Even if you don’t know someone living with the condition that doesn’t give you the right to be ignorant about it. I’m going to stop here & leave you with a few other bloggers who have shared their stories online too; pickle & poppet, rose tinted calls, dungarees & doughnuts, & life in a breakdown.
If you would like to read more about the condition please make sure you use NHS & medical sites as the authors are trained. The last thing we need is more misconceptions!